By Anna Weaver | Hawaii Catholic Herald

A group of about 20 people gathered at St. Augustine Church in Waikiki on July 25 for what may have been a first time event — a focus group sponsored by the Diocese of Honolulu to discuss whether homosexuals feel welcome in the Catholic Church and to open the way for further dialogue on the topic.

The meeting was one of several focus groups organized as part of the diocese’s strategic planning process headed by vicar general Father Marc Alexander.

Catholic Church teaching condemns homosexual acts as immoral, but not persons with a homosexual orientation.

A panel addressing the topic was made up of St. Augustine’s pastor, Sacred Hearts Father Lane Akiona; a parent with a gay son, Susie Roth; and an openly gay Catholic, Robert St. Onge.

Roth spoke about her son telling her and her husband Randall six years ago that he was gay and how she struggled with the church’s teaching on homosexuals. “I don’t know what part of me would leave the church,” she said. “It’s easy to see things in black and white, but then how does it translate into the faith.”

“I want [my children] to know that they’re welcome in the church and that’s where they belong and have their hope and love,” Roth said.

“My son didn’t choose to be gay. I hope that the church can see our family as real people,” she said.

St. Onge said he realized he was gay as a teenager. Gay friends told him the Catholic Church didn’t welcome homosexuals.

“‘That makes no sense,’” St. Onge said he thought at the time. “‘I’ve been a gay person all my life. At what point did I become unwelcome?’”

Father Akiona said that one of his main concerns and challenges as a pastor is how to make everyone feel at home in church.

“For me, we should be a model of welcoming,” he said. “How can we live and be faithful, and at the same time reach out to those who wish so much that the church can be present and available to them.”

After the panel shared their thoughts, attendees broke into small groups to discuss the topic. Animated conversations continued for a half hour and through refreshment time.

During the break, Dean Calistro, who says he was raised Catholic but now considers himself an atheist, said he decided to attend the session after going to Mass with his grandmother and reading about the event in the church bulletin.

“As a non-Catholic I was really interested in finding out about what the Catholic Church felt about homosexuals,” said Calistro, who came to the meeting with his partner. He said the focus group “gives me hope that there will be more inclusiveness in the church.”

The meeting finished with each small group reporting what they talked about.

One of the focus group’s organizers, Sharon Chiarucci, head of the diocesan Office of the Welcoming Parish, said she was happy with the turnout.

“There’s the question of how public people want to make themselves in a church setting,” she said.

Others advised the diocese to reinforce the church’s teaching on homosexual activity and suggested that the diocese introduce programs that help homosexual persons change their orientation to heterosexual.

The focus group’s planners also included Kathy Lee, Steve Odo, and Susie Roth.

Father Alexander said toward the end of the meeting, “It’s really good that the bishop has emphasized reaching out to everyone in our community and listening to their stories and sharing their experiences.”

St. Onge was happy with the meeting and the graciousness of everyone present. He said people in their early teen years need to be able to see the church as an extension of their family, who will always welcome them “no matter how they turn out” so that “if life does present its challenges, [they] know [they] have a place to return to or continue to be a part of.”

Susie Roth’s husband, Randall, said after the meeting that he had felt a great deal of aloha in the room.

“The Catholic Church in which I grew up would not have held this kind of session,” he said. “I admire the vicar general and everyone else involved in this for reaching out and sincerely listening to other people’s thoughts and feelings.”

“As a parent of a gay son I feel proud of my church for having held a meeting like this,” Roth said. “I see it as a part of a very slow process of recognizing that God loves homosexuals as much as heterosexuals and did not make them by mistake.”