By Patrick Downes | Hawaii Catholic Herald

The life and death of Barbara Akeo proved that true power in the Catholic Church doesn’t necessarily rest with the male, celibate and ordained, as is sometimes argued. Her funeral, Feb. 14 at St. John Vianney Church in Kailua, verified the profound effect a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, auntie and friend can have on the People of God.

The greeting line alone would have confirmed it. The stream of people converging to offer condolences to the family emerged from the church to wind a good 100 yards around the back, hugging the edge of the parking lot, past the rectory and beyond. If you took your place in line after 6 p.m., you would not have made it to the end before the start of the funeral Mass a little after seven.

If the pace of the line was solemn, the mood was one of friendly amazement at the number and variety of folks whom Barbara had assembled that Valentine’s Day evening. There were hundreds, if not thousands altogether. The visitation started at four.

Each person in line had been drawn there by his or her own Barbara link, Barbara story, Barbara association, Barbara connection. That’s what the eulogist meant when he said Barbara lived 1,000 lives in her 63 years. A lot of people knew Barbara. Barbara knew a lot of people.

Who was Barbara Akeo? Just your typical local girl, the daughter of Louis and Louise Miranda, who grew up in Kaimuki in the 40s and 50s, graduated from Star of the Sea High School, and then joined the Hawaii Telephone Company where her father worked. As a young accounting clerk, she met and married a good looking Honolulu police cadet named Paul Akeo. They bought a house in Kailua where they raised their three children, Paul Jr. “Chuck,” Dale and Rhonda “Miki.”

Over the years, Barbara worked a variety of jobs — realtor, office manager, customer services manager — before being hired as the secretary of her parish, St. John Vianney. She was soon promoted to parish administrator and as such ran the day-to-day operations of the large church plant, which included a school, under three successive pastors.

Word of her talents spread downtown and she soon became in indispensable member of any diocesan committee planning a large event. She volunteered for Catholic Charities Hawaii, the Augustine Educational Foundation and the Office of the Bishop, just to name a few.

Food, decorations and entertainment — the fundamentals of a good Catholic celebration — were her specialties. She absorbed all her responsibilities with a calm competence and cheerful assurance, and executed them through her broad network of relationships.

Barbara’s death on Jan. 31 hit hard because it came unexpectedly, in her prime. A few days before the surgery from which she did not recover, she was greeting people in church. Just days before that, she was giving her regular report at the Catholic Charities Island Treasures planning meeting.

In his homily, St. John Vianney’s pastor Father Thomas Gross, said Barbara’s life was shaped, centered and driven by three elements — family, faith and friends. He hit the nail on the head. For Barbara, faith was everything, friends were everywhere and everyone was family.

Father Gross kept his remarks brief — a discipline he attributed to Barbara’s guidance — but, given more time, he could have spoke of two additional Barbara Akeo enthusiasms: food and flowers.

Considering that food and flora were common elements in Jesus’ vocabulary, those interests put her in good company. Whether Jesus was supplying wine for a wedding, feeding 5,000 on a tight budget, stopping by Zaccheus’ house for dinner, or comparing the Kingdom of God to a wedding feast, he was always sanctifying the shared meal. Ultimately he bestowed on it sacramental status.

He also asked that we consider the lilies of the field.

Two years ago, Barbara seated and fed her own 5,000 on a shoestring at the installation of Bishop Larry Silva. But unlike Jesus’ fish/bread menu, hers included chicken, salad and a dessert. It could be argued that pulling it off was nothing short of miraculous.

And Barbara would gladly consider lilies. Also anthuriums, orchids, ginger, heliconias, even plumerias. How much did you want to spend?

Nowhere did Barbara more transform her talent of hospitality and comfort into pure ministry than in the service of bereavement. In the difficult time of death, when grieving parishioners came to church seeking assistance and consolation, she would be present and provide. It was more than a job. Much more.

How fitting it was, therefore, that her final big celebration be her own funeral. It was a tribute to her embedded parish administrative and ministerial skills that the event turned out to be such a warm demonstration without her — or with her, whichever way you want to look at it.

Coincidentally, that same day, Pope Benedict XVI, at his general audience in Rome, was extolling the contributions of women in the church.

“The story of Christianity would’ve had a very different trajectory were it not for the generosity brought to it by many women,” the pope said.

He then quoted his “venerated and dear” predecessor John Paul II: “The church gives thanks for all the manifestations of the feminine ‘genius’ which have appeared in the course of history, in the midst of all peoples and nations; she gives thanks for all the charisms which the Holy Spirit distributes to women in the history of the People of God, for all the victories which she owes to their faith, hope and charity: she gives thanks for all the fruits of feminine holiness.”

In that spirit, the People of God in Hawaii give thanks for Barbara Akeo.