Photo by Anna Weaver
Immaculée Ilibagiza spoke before nearly 1,000 people at St. Ann Church in Kaneohe on Feb. 16.
Forgiveness has set her free
Rwanda genocide survivor Immaculée Ilibagiza says peace begins here, now, with everyone
By Anna Weaver | Hawaii Catholic Herald
Forgiveness has set Immaculée Ilibagiza free.
By all that is expected in human nature, the woman who survived with seven others by hiding in a tiny bathroom for three months during the horrific 1994 Rwanda genocide should harbor an unrestrained hatred for those who killed her family, her friends and an extimated 800,000 others.
But Ilibagiza emerged from that 4 foot by 3 foot bathroom transformed by a deepened faith. She forgave those who murdered her loved ones and who were equally intent on killing her.
Today Ilibagiza travels the country telling her story in the hope that others will open their hearts. She was in Hawaii last week for several speaking engagements.
In an interview on Feb. 16 with the Hawaii Catholic Herald Ilibagiza summed up her message: “To forgive, to let go of the anger and then one can [move on].”
“We’re all [God’s] children and we can accomplish anything like this and have a life again and be happy,” she said.
Ilibagiza, who is Catholic, spoke with the Sacred Hearts Academy senior class on the morning of Feb. 16. She told the students that when she first crowded into the bathroom of a local Protestant minister with the other women of her Tutsi tribe, she was overwhelmed by fear and hatred of the Hutus, the ethnic tribe swarming through the country slaughtering people with machetes and clubs.
But one day when Hutus searched the house without finding her and the others, she promised God she would try and understand what was happening.
With a rosary her father had given her before sending her into hiding and a Bible borrowed from the minister, Ilibagiza spent every day praying and reading Scripture. She found the words of Jesus on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing,” running through her mind.
She decided she too would forgive.
“When you forgive, it doesn’t mean that you condone what people are doing wrong,” she told the students. “But you can still forgive them, let go the anger, let go the bitterness and accept [in order] to have your peace and actually pray for those people so you can change their mind.”
Sacred Hearts religion teacher Leo Delgado found in Ilibagiza’s powerful story the very lesson he had been giving to his social justice students.
“What we’re trying to learn in the year, she just summed it up with her story, with her life experience,” he said. “The message is so universal and it’s so relevant to our time.”
After her Academy visit, Ilibagiza walked across the street to St. Patrick School to meet the kindergarten class who had been praying that she would arrive safely in Hawaii after bad weather delayed her departure from New York City by a day.
The kindergartners sang songs to Ilibagiza and recited “I Said a Prayer for You Today.” They then swarmed around her asking her questions and giving her hugs.
Ilibagiza said that she wants to keep for as long as possible the details of the Rwandan genocide from her own children, Nikki, 8, and Bryan Jr., 5.
“I just want them to be children. I want them to enjoy their lives,” she said. “When they ask questions I just tell them my parents are in heaven.”
“That was the biggest part, to make them understand that there’s heaven,” Ilibagiza said. “So they don’t feel like somebody disappears forever and that’s it.”
Ilibagiza has recounted her Rwanda experience in the book “Left to Tell.” She is about to publish her second book, “The Power of Faith,” about how her country is healing today. Ilibagiza says her country is doing much better politically, but still needs special attention “inside of the heart.” With its lack of psychologists or counseling services, Rwanda doesn’t have the means to do that, she said.
“Anybody who is suffering definitely takes me back to what happened to Rwanda,” she said. “When I hear about Darfur, of course it breaks my heart. I remember that maybe some people are hiding today in Darfur.”
“I just wish people can just realize that everyone has a role to play in this, in the peace of the world, and then start now, here, and act out of love to your neighbors,” Ilibagiza said. “Because when you take it as something that concerns somebody else, then we miss it.”
A standing-room-only crowd of more than 1,000 people packed St. Ann Church in Kaneohe on the evening of Feb. 16 to hear Ilibagiza’s story.
After the showing of a 3-minute segment from “The Diary of Immaculée,” a video documentary about Ilibagiza, and several songs by the St. Ann choir, Sacred Hearts Father Johnathan Hurrell introduced the speaker.
Offering the example of Martin Luther King Jr. and his message of forgiveness, the priest said, “This evening we are very, very deeply honored to have another voice that cries out in the wilderness, has seen through great suffering and experienced tremendous loss and pain.”
Ilibagiza’s talk was mixed with equal parts humor and heart-tugging poignancy. She said, God “gave us the most beautiful and the most dangerous thing — free will.”
It was free will that permitted Rwandans to murder each other and free will that allowed Ilibagiza to choose to forgive.
“To me after all I have lost in the genocide … the only thing that I can give you is love,” she said.
St. Ann’s pastor, Sacred Hearts Father Herman Gomes, said at the end of the evening, “What I will take with me is if you have hatred in your heart it will always be an obstacle to every blessing that will come to you.”
For more information about Immaculée Ilibagiza and the charitable fund she established to help orphans of the Rwandan genocide visit www.lefttotell.com.