By Lisa Benoit

Every Saturday in most parishes in Hawaii, Catholics have the opportunity to erase all of their sins from their spiritual record through the sacrament of reconciliation.

With such an extraordinary benefit so readily available, why don’t more people use it?

Father Marc Alexander believes the sacrament is “underused” and “underrated” because it is just plain hard to do.

“It is hard to look at yourself critically and to think about it and articulate it — to look at it and to own it,” said Father Alexander, who is pastor of the Manoa-Punahou Catholic Community and the diocesan theologian. “That is very intimate and difficult. It is not for the faint of heart.”

In the sacrament of reconciliation, also called penance or confession, the penitent discloses his or her sins to a priest who, through the power given him at ordination, acts as Christ and absolves the penitent of his or her sins.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation has four essential elements: 1) contrition, a heartfelt sorrow with the intention to sin no more, 2) confession, the telling of the sins to a priest, 3) absolution, God’s forgiveness and pardon, and 4) penance, also called “satisfaction,” the act or prayer prescribed by the priest to help the penitent make amends.

The rewards of the sacrament are reconciliation with God; reconciliation with the church; remission of the eternal punishment incurred by mortal sins; remission, at least in part, of temporal punishments resulting from sin; serenity of conscience, spiritual consolation and an increase of spiritual strength.

And while reconciliation heals an individual soul, its effects are not purely private. It also helps restore the church community.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church puts it this way: “Sin damages or even breaks fraternal communion. The sacrament of penance repairs or restores it. In this sense it does not simply heal the one restored to ecclesial communion, but has also a revitalizing effect on the life of the church, which suffered from the sin of one of her members.”

When to go to confession

Father Alexander encourages people to receive the sacrament at least twice a year, usually during Advent and Lent, and also whenever they are going through a difficult period in life.

“There are also daily forms of (non-sacramental) reconciliation,” he said. “One of the things that I do is take a few moments and do the Ignatian practice of simply taking stock of the day.”

Father Alexander said that some people have, to use the words of St. Paul, a “perennial thorn in the side,” an internal struggle with a recurring sin that they are forced to acknowledge and confess over and over.

“It is important that people don’t lose hope,” he said. “Changes do happen over time, though they may be incremental.”

To make a good reconciliation, Father Alexander said, “clarity and intensity is helpful” and is achieved through a thorough examination of conscience. He also encouraged people to make an appointment if they need to make a particularly detailed confession or require extra counseling time.

The pastor recommended having a spiritual director. If the spiritual director is a priest, he said, he should also serve as a confessor.

“The confessor can see patterns,” he said, allowing him to be more helpful, “more confirming.”

As a priest and confessor himself, Father Alexander said that the key quality required of him is compassion.

“You have to have compassion,” he said. “The way to do that is to recognize your own sinful nature.”

But compassion does not mean condoning sinfulness, he warned. “Jesus was always compassionate but he was always truthful.”

It is important to express Gospel values, standards and expectations, he said. “We need to preach the Gospel — the whole Gospel — and that is not easy to do. But we owe that to our people.”

“We believe that God’s grace really does touch us to bring us healing and give us hope,” he said. “We are set free from the bonds of sin.”

He said that one of the saddest things is when people choose not to acknowledge their faults.

“If you do not have the sense that you are a sinner then you don’t need Jesus,” Father Alexander said.

The joy of reconciliation

For Father Joven “Jojo” Junio, pastor of St. Joseph Parish in Waipahu, the sacrament of reconciliation is one of the charisms of his La Salette Order. He said the most fulfilling aspect of his vocation is administering this sacrament.

“I could not compare the joy of a person being reconciled to himself, to God and to his community to anything else in this world,” Father Junio said.

He said that human weakness makes us to “hang onto” the damage and pain caused by our human nature, hurting ourselves and our relationship with God.

“To be forgiven is very key to be free from this bondage,” he said. “Once a person is free from such bondage, then liberation from sin occurs. Your manifestation of God’s love flows naturally from you.”

“Sin ruptures our relationship with God,” he said. “Expiation can be brought forth only by reconciliation. And if it is a call to conversion, a radical shift from our old ways, it is a return to our Heavenly Father.”

Without the grace of reconciliation, he said, it is not possible to “move on, responding to the many challenges that abound in and around us.”

Father Junio said that often the first step in helping people reconcile their sins is to invite them to participate in communal penance services offered at different seasons of the year and during parish missions.

If someone has not been to church for quite time, he said, “we welcome them back and tell them that we are grateful that they have received the grace of wanting to go to the sacrament,” he said. “We walk with them step by step.”

Father Junio said that as Catholics we are required to go to confession at least once a year, but the sacrament can be received as often as a person needs it.

“Some would say, ‘It is just a venial sin, I don’t have to go to confession,’ and they give a simple act of contrition,” he said. “Personally, I would say that every time a person needs that forgiving love of God, they need to be reconciled. A person should not be deprived of that sacrament.”

If, during reconciliation, the pastor hears a behavior that goes beyond the competency of the confessional, such as alcoholism, he will point the penitent in the direction of counseling.

“As a confessor you have to be very open to making that transition from confession to counseling or a referral,” he said.

Available twice daily

At Father Thomas Choo’s parish of St. Augustine in Waikiki, the sacrament of reconciliation is offered twice each day, before the 7 a.m. and 5 p.m. Masses.

The parish averages five people a day seeking the sacrament, but sometimes there are so many the priest has to stop the line for Mass and resume hearing confessions afterward.

As a pastor, the Sacred Hearts priest said he likes having daily confession because he believes it makes a difference in the lives of Catholics.

“As a parish, the first priority is the availability of the sacraments,” he said.

Father Choo said that some people go to St. Augustine for reconciliation because they have difficulty going at their own parishes.

“It gives them an opportunity to go to the sacrament in another area where they are less inhibited,” he said.

Going to reconciliation should not be “too artificial” or “too mechanical,” the priest said.

Rather they should go when they are compelled to go, when they “feel moved to go.”

If you haven’t been for a while or don’t have the “Act of Contrition” memorized, don’t feel stressed, Father Choo said. “Just be honest and have courage that God’s love will prevail.”

“Just speak from the heart,” he said.

Internet help: For a good guide to the sacrament of confession, go to the Knights of Columbus website: www.kofc.org/rc/en /publications/cis/devotional  /GuideToConfession2075.pdf.