Dear Mason and Teo,
I am a parent who wanted very much for our children to keep up their faith in God by attending Sunday Mass. When our two sons left our home they disregarded their church-going tradition, which we feel is just as important as breathing. I felt disappointed, and from day-one I said an Our Father out loud for them and dedicated them to God. I feel that I have failed as a good Christian Catholic in having them continue to practice their faith as I feel I had helped teach them along with their mom! The reasons one of them gave for not attending Sunday Mass is that our Mass is boring and he doesn’t feel like a part of the church. So what’s a parent to do? (Nacho)

Dear Nacho,

As parents of a young adult, we understand your hurt, not only because you love your children but also because you love the church and it is troubling to see your children move away from the church you love. No matter how hard we strive to teach our children about Jesus, his Word and the church, sometimes they reject it all. Even in families where God is loved, trusted and glorified, children sometimes turn from our Lord and run from their family.

But questioning and exploring can also be signs of a deepening and maturing faith. It can actually bring people closer to the church and to the faith even though it seems to be driving them away. Thomas Merton, a monk and author, wrote, “We too often forget that faith is a matter of questioning and struggle before it becomes one of certitude and peace. You have to doubt and reject everything else in order to believe firmly in Christ, and after you have begun to believe, your faith itself must be tested and purified.”

According to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops 1997 document “Sons and Daughters of the Light: A Pastoral Plan for Ministry with Young Adults,” young adults need to search and re-examine traditional beliefs often by participating in prayer groups and small communities or learning more about their faith.

For other young adults, the document says, “this searching may lead to a functional atheism, a refusal of organized religion, or a distancing from church activities and worship. This questioning should be seen as a path that leads to possible future faith development.”

In the Parable of the Prodigal Son, Luke 15, the rebellious son rejects his father’s upbringing. Prideful and tough, the son heads off to a faraway land, leads an adventurous life and squanders everything. Not until he’s confronted with misery and failure does he return home, repentant and willing to do anything to win back his father’s favor.

To his surprise, and the shock of others, he is welcomed without question into his father’s loving and forgiving arms. No amount of time, no amount of money, and no amount of rebellion could get in the way of the father’s patience and unconditional love for his son. “Because this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found” (Luke 15:24).

The great message of this parable is that God is patient and gracious with all of his children. Almighty God is willing to welcome each of us home into his loving and forgiving arms.

A path back to God for each prodigal son or daughter is different. God tells us how to deal with these children: be in constant prayer, always lead by example, and follow through with love and mercy, no matter how despairing things get.

We must remember God’s promise to those who raise children in a Christian home: “Train a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not swerve from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

There is an old saying that goes something like this, “The fruit from the tree does not fall far from its roots.” Eventually, many young adults seek to return to their roots, their Catholic faith. They tell us that they miss the Eucharist and that it is the Catholic tradition that feeds their hunger. They return seeking participation and involvement in church life.

Young adults need opportunities to share their stories and be affirmed within the Catholic Church. Consequently, this common bond, shared within a community of peers, provides support and nourishes their faith. When young adults develop and maintain a personal relationship with Jesus, Mass will never be boring again.

Although, as parents, we raised our children to be faithful Catholics, there are no guarantees that they will stay Catholic. You can only guarantee that you’ve done your part in passing on the faith. What they do with it after that is up to them, and God.